AE-7 Map – 11 Audios – AE-7 Model – 33 Cases – 105 Cases – Book I
PC-32-B-En — “To Be Safe, I Cannot Upset Others”
Exploration Through Personal Constellations
Exploration Through Personal Constellations in SPANISH >>>
In PC-32-En, we explore Hanane’s case.
The available information describes that she grew up in:
AN UNPREDICTABLE ENVIRONMENT.
And that from a very young age she felt she had to:
KEEP THE PEACE.
She learned to:
STAY QUIET · BE CAREFUL · HOLD BACK WHAT SHE FELT
in order to:
AVOID CONFLICT
and:
PROTECT THOSE AROUND HER.
Using the AE-7 Model, we applied Reverse Engineering and found reasons to explore especially:
SAFETY
alongside other territories that may also be involved:
INNER AUTHORITY · BELONGING · ADEQUACY · SIGNIFICANCE
And we proposed as a possible prison:
“TO BE SAFE, I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
But this formulation belongs to our psychological map.
It is not the starting point of a Personal Constellation.
Before reaching it, we already know something about Hanane’s experience:
“KEEPING THE PEACE.”
That is where we begin.
In PC-32-A-En, Family Constellations ask:
WHAT APPEARS WHEN HANANE OBSERVES HERSELF IN RELATION TO HER SYSTEM?
In PC-32-B-En, we turn our attention toward her own biography.
The question is:
WHICH AGES, VOICES, OR LIFE STAGES PARTICIPATE IN THE EXPERIENCE OF “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
We do not know the answer.
Therefore:
WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR “THE GIRL WHO KEEPS WATCH.”
WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR “THE ADOLESCENT WHO CANNOT EXPRESS HERSELF.”
WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR “THE ADULT WOMAN WHO HAS ABANDONED HERSELF.”
WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR A STORY THAT CONFIRMS OUR MAP.
We observe.
PERSONAL CONSTELLATIONS
Personal Constellations use representatives to explore different moments in a person’s own biography.
We might begin with:
BABY · GIRL · ADOLESCENT · YOUNG WOMAN · ADULT WOMAN
or with only some of these stages, expanding later if the process justifies it.
We do not understand these ages as independent personalities.
Nor do we claim that there is necessarily any inner fragmentation.
We use them as:
PHENOMENOLOGICAL REPRESENTATIONS OF DIFFERENT MOMENTS IN ONE’S OWN HISTORY.
And we observe:
POSITION · ORIENTATION · GAZE · SENSATION · EMOTION · TENSION · MOVEMENT · WORD · SILENCE
We do not decide in advance what should appear.
FIRST, WE OBSERVE.
WE KNOW PART OF HANANE’S BIOGRAPHY
In this case, we have some relevant biographical information.
We know that Hanane describes:
AN UNPREDICTABLE ENVIRONMENT.
And that from a very young age she felt she had to:
KEEP THE PEACE.
We also know that she learned to:
STAY QUIET · BE CAREFUL · HOLD BACK WHAT SHE FELT · AVOID CONFLICT · PROTECT
But knowing these elements does not mean knowing in advance:
HOW THEY WILL APPEAR IN THE CONSTELLATION.
We do not place a girl and decide:
“THIS IS THE GIRL WHO WAS AFRAID.”
We do not claim:
“THIS IS WHERE PEOPLE-PLEASING BEGAN.”
Nor:
“THIS IS WHERE SHE LEARNED THAT UPSETTING OTHERS WAS DANGEROUS.”
Nor:
“THIS GIRL HAD TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS.”
We have information about certain experiences and certain strategies.
We do not know in advance how the different stages of her biography relate to them today.
Therefore:
BIOGRAPHY GIVES US CONTEXT.
THE CONSTELLATION ALLOWS US TO OBSERVE.
WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR “THE GIRL WHO HAD TO KEEP THE PEACE”
This principle is especially important in PC-32-En.
We might be tempted to assign roles before we begin:
THE GIRL KEEPS WATCH.
THE ADOLESCENT WANTS TO REBEL.
THE YOUNG WOMAN PLEASES OTHERS.
THE ADULT WOMAN NEEDS TO RECLAIM HER VOICE.
But we do not know whether anything like this will appear.
Nor do we know whether the stage that shows the strongest reaction is the stage in which a particular adaptation began.
Therefore:
WE DO NOT ASSIGN ROLES IN ADVANCE.
We work in another direction:
WE PLACE
↓
WE OBSERVE
↓
WE LISTEN
↓
WE MAKE A MOVEMENT
↓
WE OBSERVE AGAIN.
THE INITIAL CONFIGURATION
We might begin, for example, with:
GIRL · ADOLESCENT · ADULT WOMAN
Not because we know that these three ages contain the problem.
They are simply three sufficiently differentiated moments from which to begin observing.
Once they are placed:
WE DO NOT ASK THEM TO REPRESENT OUR THEORY.
We observe.
Where is each one?
Where is each one looking?
What distance is there between them?
Does any of them want to move closer?
Does any of them want to move away?
Does one look for another?
Does one avoid contact?
Does tension appear?
Calm?
An impulse to move?
Does nothing particularly significant happen?
All of this is information.
IT IS NOT YET AN EXPLANATION.
WE LISTEN TO THE BODY BEFORE THE STORY
We can briefly ask a representative:
“What do you notice standing there?”
Not:
“WHO ARE YOU WATCHING?”
because she may not be watching anyone.
Not:
“WHO ARE YOU AFRAID OF?”
because fear may not appear.
Not:
“WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO PROTECT?”
because we would be introducing a story we do not know.
Not:
“WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO TO FEEL SAFE?”
because we would already be introducing SAFETY.
We simply ask:
WHAT DO YOU NOTICE?
There may be:
TENSION · CALM · PRESSURE · STRENGTH · TIREDNESS · CLOSENESS · DISTANCE · AN IMPULSE TO MOVE
or something completely different.
An emotion may arise spontaneously.
A word.
A phrase.
A movement.
Or silence.
We do not need to lead the representative from sensation to emotion and then toward an explanation.
FIRST, THE PHENOMENON OCCURS.
Then we decide whether anything else is needed.
WE INTRODUCE “KEEPING THE PEACE”
After observing the initial configuration, we introduce a representative for something that does belong to Hanane’s described experience:
“KEEPING THE PEACE.”
We place the representative.
And observe.
Does any age orient toward this representative?
Does any move closer?
Does any move away?
Does any change position?
Does any seem especially focused on it?
Does tension appear?
Relief?
Familiarity?
Rejection?
Nothing particularly significant?
We do not ask:
“AT WHAT AGE DID YOU LEARN TO KEEP THE PEACE?”
Nor:
“WHY DID YOU NEED TO KEEP THE PEACE?”
We observe:
WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN THE DIFFERENT AGES WHEN THE REPRESENTATIVE OF “KEEPING THE PEACE” ENTERS THE CONFIGURATION?
“KEEPING THE PEACE” AS THE THREAD OF THE EXPLORATION
From this point onward:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
can accompany us throughout the Personal Constellation.
If one age changes position:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
If two ages move closer:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
If CONFLICT appears:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
If we introduce MY VOICE:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
If we later introduce:
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
we observe again:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
We do not need to ask this question out loud every time.
It is our methodological reference as facilitators.
We observe:
POSITION · DISTANCE · ORIENTATION · RELATIONSHIP WITH THE DIFFERENT AGES
and any change that appears in the configuration as a whole.
WHICH AGE REACTS?
One stage may show a particularly clear reaction to:
“KEEPING THE PEACE.”
Perhaps the GIRL moves closer.
Perhaps the ADOLESCENT moves away.
Perhaps the ADULT WOMAN remains very focused on it.
Perhaps they all react.
Perhaps none of them shows anything particularly significant.
We do not need to ask why immediately.
We observe.
If we need to gather information:
“What do you notice there?”
A sensation may appear.
An emotion.
An impulse.
A word.
A movement.
Or nothing particularly significant.
If one age reacts strongly to “KEEPING THE PEACE,” this does not demonstrate that the experience originated there.
Therefore, we distinguish between:
PARTICIPATING IN THE EXPERIENCE
and:
HAVING ORIGINATED IT.
Personal Constellations can show us which life stages currently participate in an experience.
By themselves, they do not demonstrate where it began.
WE MAKE A MOVEMENT
If one age appears particularly connected to “KEEPING THE PEACE,” we can make a small movement.
Not to correct her.
Not to make her stop keeping the peace.
Simply to obtain new information.
We can:
CHANGE A DISTANCE
CHANGE AN ORIENTATION
ALLOW A SPONTANEOUS MOVEMENT
or even:
TEMPORARILY REMOVE “KEEPING THE PEACE.”
And observe.
What changes?
Does any age move?
Does relief appear?
Tension?
Does any representative look for the place it occupied?
Does the configuration remain almost unchanged?
Then we can reintroduce it.
And compare.
WE PLACE → WE OBSERVE → WE MOVE OR REMOVE IF APPROPRIATE → WE COMPARE → WE OBSERVE AGAIN.
CONFLICT
We have a legitimate reason to consider this element.
We know that Hanane learned to:
AVOID CONFLICT.
If the process justifies it, we can introduce a representative for:
CONFLICT.
We place it.
And observe.
Which ages react?
Does any move closer?
Does any move away?
Does any change orientation?
Does tension appear?
Stillness?
An impulse to intervene?
Nothing particularly significant?
And we keep following our thread:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE” WHEN CONFLICT APPEARS?
We can move CONFLICT.
Remove it.
Reintroduce it.
Change its distance from the different ages.
And observe.
We do not ask:
“WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID WILL HAPPEN IF THERE IS CONFLICT?”
Nor:
“WHAT DOES CONFLICT MEAN TO YOU?”
Nor:
“WHY DO YOU NEED TO AVOID IT?”
Those questions may be useful in AE-7.
Here:
WE PLACE CONFLICT AND OBSERVE WHAT ITS PRESENCE PRODUCES.
WE DO NOT ASSUME SAFETY
From AE-7, we have reasons to explore especially:
SAFETY.
The combination of:
UNPREDICTABLE ENVIRONMENT · AVOIDING CONFLICT · KEEPING THE PEACE · PROTECTING
makes this territory worth investigating.
But:
AN AE-7 HYPOTHESIS IS NOT A CONCLUSION OF THE CONSTELLATION.
We do not introduce SAFETY so that the different ages will confirm our map.
Nor do we ask:
“DO YOU NEED TO KEEP THE PEACE IN ORDER TO FEEL SAFE?”
Nor:
“WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID WILL HAPPEN IF SOMEONE GETS UPSET?”
If phenomena related to:
DANGER · PROTECTION · ALERTNESS · FEAR · THREAT
appear during the Constellation, it may become relevant to introduce a representative for:
SAFETY.
We place it.
And observe.
Which ages react?
What happens to CONFLICT?
What happens to “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Does a relationship appear?
Does none appear?
SAFETY MAY TURN OUT TO BE CENTRAL.
OR IT MAY NOT.
We do not need to decide in advance.
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
Later, if there is sufficient reason, we can introduce a representative for:
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
Now we are incorporating something different.
It is not the initial experience.
It is a later formulation that appears within the AE-7 exploration.
Therefore, we do not use:
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
to explain in advance:
“KEEPING THE PEACE.”
We place it.
And observe.
Which ages react?
Does any move closer?
Does any move away?
Does any appear particularly connected to it?
Does any remain indifferent?
Does the configuration change?
And especially:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE” WHEN “I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS” APPEARS?
We can remove “I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
Reintroduce it.
Change its position.
And compare.
We do not decide in advance that:
“KEEPING THE PEACE” = “I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
They may be related.
They may not be.
WE INVESTIGATE.
PLEASING OTHERS
The original episode refers to:
PEOPLE-PLEASING.
From AE-7, we have made an important distinction:
PLEASING OTHERS IS A STRATEGY.
It does not automatically tell us what the prison or the root is.
In PC-32-B-En, we maintain the same caution.
If the process justifies it, we can introduce a representative for:
PLEASING OTHERS.
And observe.
Which ages react?
Does any move closer?
Does any move away?
What happens to “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
What happens to CONFLICT?
What happens to “I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”?
We do not ask:
“WHY DO YOU NEED TO PLEASE OTHERS?”
because we would be bringing AE-7 Reverse Engineering inside the constellation.
Here, PLEASING OTHERS is something we can:
REPRESENT · PLACE · MOVE · REMOVE · COMPARE · OBSERVE.
MY VOICE
There is another element that the known biography allows us to consider.
We know that Hanane learned to:
STAY QUIET
and:
HOLD BACK WHAT SHE FELT.
Therefore, if the process justifies it, we can introduce a representative for:
MY VOICE.
We do not assume it is far away.
We do not assume it is blocked.
We do not claim that Hanane needs to reclaim it.
We place it.
And observe.
How does the GIRL respond?
And the ADOLESCENT?
And the YOUNG WOMAN?
And the ADULT WOMAN?
Does any age orient toward MY VOICE?
Does any move away?
Does tension appear?
Relief?
Strength?
Nothing particularly significant?
And we continue following our thread:
WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN “MY VOICE” AND “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Can they both remain present?
Does one change the other?
Does any age seem to position herself between them?
Does no tension appear?
We do not know.
WE OBSERVE.
STAYING QUIET AND SPEAKING
If relevant, we can also experiment with two representatives:
STAYING QUIET
and:
SPEAKING.
We do not place SPEAKING as the solution.
Nor STAYING QUIET as the problem.
Because remaining silent can represent:
PRUDENCE · CHOICE · CARE · TIME · PROTECTION
and speaking can represent:
EXPRESSION · IMPULSE · BOUNDARY · NEED · CHOICE
We do not know what they represent for each stage.
We place them.
And observe.
How does each age relate to STAYING QUIET?
And to SPEAKING?
What happens to:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”?
We are not trying to transform:
STAYING QUIET → SPEAKING.
We are observing whether there is a greater possibility of:
CHOICE.
OTHERS AND ME
PC-32-En contains a particularly relevant dimension.
Hanane’s attention appears to have been strongly oriented toward:
HOW THE OTHER PERSON IS · WHAT THEY NEED · WHAT MIGHT UPSET THEM · HOW THEY MIGHT REACT
If the process justifies it, we can introduce two representatives:
OTHERS
and:
ME.
We do not assume that Hanane will look toward OTHERS and abandon ME.
We observe.
Which age looks toward OTHERS?
Does any look toward ME?
Does any remain between the two?
Does any move away from both?
Does the configuration change?
And especially:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Does it orient toward OTHERS?
Toward ME?
Does it remain where it was?
Does it change when one age moves closer to ME?
We do not need to tell Hanane:
“YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE YOURSELF.”
The movement is not about replacing:
OTHERS
with:
ME.
It may simply be about discovering whether:
BOTH CAN BE PRESENT.
“ME TOO”
If the process genuinely leads there, we can introduce a representative for:
“ME TOO.”
Not as a positive affirmation.
Not as a conclusion.
As an experiment.
We place it.
And observe.
Which ages react?
What happens to OTHERS?
What happens to MY VOICE?
And:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
“ME TOO” may produce relief.
It may produce tension.
It may be irrelevant.
It may generate an unexpected movement.
We do not know.
That is why we represent it.
MY RESPONSIBILITY AND THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION
Another territory that may become relevant is the relationship between:
MY RESPONSIBILITY
and:
THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION.
We do not assume that Hanane takes responsibility for other people’s emotions.
We investigate this only if the configuration gives us reason to do so.
We place both representatives.
And observe.
Which ages react?
Does any orient particularly toward THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION?
Does any orient toward MY RESPONSIBILITY?
Does any remain between them?
What happens to “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Does its position change?
Does its presence become stronger?
Does it move away?
Does it remain unchanged?
We do not ask:
“WHAT PART OF WHAT THE OTHER PERSON FEELS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY?”
Nor:
“WHY DO YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHERS?”
First, we allow:
THE CONFIGURATION TO SHOW WHETHER ANY RELATIONSHIP EXISTS.
SETTING A BOUNDARY
PC-32-En also opens an important question around boundaries.
But we do not need to assume that Hanane:
DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO SET THEM
or that:
SETTING A BOUNDARY FRIGHTENS HER.
If the process justifies it, we can introduce a representative for:
MY BOUNDARY.
We place it.
And observe.
Which ages can look at it?
Does any move closer?
Does any move away?
Does tension appear?
Strength?
Discomfort?
Nothing?
What happens to OTHERS?
What happens to THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION?
And especially:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE” WHEN “MY BOUNDARY” IS PRESENT?
We are not trying to teach Hanane how to set boundaries.
We investigate how this element appears in the relationship between the different stages of her biography.
“YES” AND “NO”
We can also explore:
YES
and:
NO.
Not because YES represents people-pleasing.
Nor because NO represents freedom.
We place them as different possibilities.
And observe.
How does each age respond?
Does any move closer to YES?
Does any move closer to NO?
Does any seem able to stand in relation to both?
Does any reject one of them?
Nothing particularly significant?
And we keep our reference point:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Perhaps saying YES is related to keeping the peace.
Perhaps not.
Perhaps NO produces tension.
Perhaps it produces strength.
Perhaps exactly the opposite happens.
WE DO NOT DECIDE IN ADVANCE.
EXPRESSING MYSELF
If MY VOICE, MY BOUNDARY, or YES/NO become relevant, it may be useful to introduce:
EXPRESSING MYSELF.
We do not assume that expressing oneself is always the right thing to do.
Not everything needs to be said.
Not every situation requires confrontation.
Not every form of expression is safe in every context.
Therefore, EXPRESSING MYSELF does not represent a new obligation.
We place it.
And observe.
Which ages react?
What happens to CONFLICT?
What happens to THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION?
What happens to “I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”?
And:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
The goal is not to move from:
ALWAYS STAYING QUIET
to:
ALWAYS SPEAKING.
It is to recover possibilities.
NOT EVERY CONFLICT IS SAFE
This distinction remains fundamental.
We do not use the Personal Constellation to teach Hanane:
“CONFLICT IS SAFE.”
We do not know that.
There are conflicts that can be navigated without danger.
And there are situations and relationships in which conflict can involve real risk.
Therefore, we are not trying to install:
“NOTHING BAD HAPPENS IF SOMEONE GETS ANGRY.”
That would mean replacing one generalization with another.
We can represent CONFLICT.
We can change its distance.
We can observe how different ages respond.
We can observe what happens to “KEEPING THE PEACE.”
But:
WE DO NOT NEED TO TURN THE RESULT INTO A UNIVERSAL TRUTH.
THE GIRL
We know that Hanane describes this form of adaptation as having been present from a very young age.
Therefore, if the representative of the GIRL shows a particularly intense reaction to:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
CONFLICT
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
or any other element,
we can stay there.
Without concluding:
“WE HAVE FOUND THE ORIGIN.”
We let her remain there.
We observe.
We can change a distance.
Temporarily remove CONFLICT.
Move “KEEPING THE PEACE” closer or farther away.
Introduce MY VOICE if there is a reason to do so.
And observe what happens.
Perhaps fear appears.
Perhaps vigilance.
Perhaps strength.
Perhaps tiredness.
Perhaps calm.
Perhaps something completely different.
WE DO NOT NEED THE GIRL TO CONFIRM THE STORY WE ALREADY KNOW.
THE ADOLESCENT MAY SHOW SOMETHING DIFFERENT
We do not assume that all ages have the same relationship with the strategy.
The ADOLESCENT may react very differently to:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
CONFLICT
MY VOICE
OTHERS
ME
MY BOUNDARY
Perhaps she moves closer where the girl moves away.
Perhaps strength appears where there had previously been tension.
Perhaps she wants to move away.
Perhaps she shows nothing particularly significant.
We do not need to automatically turn her into:
“THE REBELLIOUS PART.”
Each life stage may relate differently to the same experience.
THE ADULT WOMAN IS NOT HERE TO SAVE THE OTHERS
The ADULT WOMAN does not enter the Personal Constellation in order to:
RESCUE · PROTECT · REPAIR · INTEGRATE · TEACH
the girl or the adolescent.
We do not know whether she has more freedom in relation to:
“KEEPING THE PEACE.”
The opposite may be true.
Perhaps the ADULT WOMAN is the one most closely connected to:
PLEASING OTHERS · ANTICIPATING · STAYING QUIET · CONTROLLING THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION
Perhaps the GIRL shows a strength the adult woman has lost.
Perhaps one stage simply needs to look at another.
Perhaps no significant relationship appears.
WE DO NOT KNOW THE DIRECTION OF THE MOVEMENT.
We discover it.
THE ENCOUNTER BETWEEN DIFFERENT AGES
At some point, it may be useful to bring two representatives closer together.
For example:
ADULT WOMAN · GIRL
or:
ADOLESCENT · ADULT WOMAN
or any combination that the process has made relevant.
We do not assume what one should say to the other.
First:
THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER.
We observe.
Is there recognition?
Distance?
Tension?
A desire to move closer?
Rejection?
Indifference?
If we need information:
“What do you notice there?”
And we wait.
An emotion may appear.
A movement.
A word.
Silence.
Perhaps something arises spontaneously:
“I SEE YOU.”
Perhaps:
“I’M HERE NOW.”
Perhaps something completely different.
THE DIALOGUE EMERGES FROM THE ENCOUNTER.
We do not write it beforehand.
“TO BE SAFE, I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
Only later, and only if the process gives us reason to do so, can we introduce a representative for the complete AE-7 formulation:
“TO BE SAFE, I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
Now we are introducing our psychological hypothesis.
We do not use it as the starting point.
We place it in order to investigate it.
And observe.
Which ages react?
Does any move closer?
Does any move away?
Does any seem to recognize it?
Does any show no particular relationship with it?
What happens to CONFLICT?
What happens to MY VOICE?
What happens to OTHERS and ME?
And especially:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
We do not need both expressions to appear together.
We do not need one to explain the other.
The Constellation may show:
A RELATIONSHIP
A DIFFERENCE
or:
NO PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP.
All of these possibilities are valid.
WE INTRODUCE ONLY WHAT IS NECESSARY
Throughout PC-32-B-En, representatives such as the following might prove useful:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
CONFLICT
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
PLEASING OTHERS
SAFETY
MY VOICE
STAYING QUIET
SPEAKING
OTHERS
ME
“ME TOO”
MY RESPONSIBILITY
THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION
MY BOUNDARY
YES
NO
EXPRESSING MYSELF
LIFE
But:
WE DO NOT NEED TO REPRESENT ALL OF THEM.
Each element enters because something that has occurred during the Constellation makes it relevant to observe.
Not because it appears on our AE-7 map.
If SAFETY does not emerge:
WE DO NOT NEED TO PLACE SAFETY.
If PLEASING OTHERS adds no information:
WE DO NOT NEED PLEASING OTHERS.
If MY BOUNDARY does not become relevant:
WE DO NOT INTRODUCE IT.
The map offers possibilities.
THE PHENOMENON GUIDES WHICH ONES WE EXPLORE.
WE DO NOT ELIMINATE CAPACITIES
This point is especially important in PC-32-En.
Hanane’s experience may contain valuable capacities:
SENSITIVITY · EMPATHY · CONSIDERATION · DIPLOMACY · ABILITY TO LISTEN · AWARENESS OF OTHERS
We do not need to turn them into symptoms.
Nor eliminate them.
Being able to sense how another person is feeling can be an extraordinary capacity.
So can seeking agreement.
So can being considerate.
The distinction we are exploring may appear between:
CAPACITY
and:
OBLIGATION.
Between:
“I CAN NOTICE HOW YOU ARE.”
and:
“I HAVE TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE.”
Between:
“I CAN TAKE YOU INTO CONSIDERATION.”
and:
“I CAN’T LET YOU GET UPSET.”
Between:
“I LIKE THERE TO BE PEACE.”
and:
“I HAVE TO KEEP THE PEACE.”
We do not need to explain this distinction to the representatives.
WE ALLOW THE CONFIGURATION TO SHOW IT, IF IT IS PRESENT.
LIFE
At some point, it may be useful to introduce a representative for:
LIFE.
Not because Hanane has to look forward.
Not because LIFE represents the solution.
We place it.
And observe.
How do the different ages react?
Does any look toward LIFE?
Does any remain oriented toward OTHERS?
Does any remain beside “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Can the ADULT WOMAN look toward LIFE?
Does she want to move closer?
Does interest appear?
Tension?
Distance?
Nothing particularly significant?
And we keep following our thread:
WHAT HAPPENS TO “KEEPING THE PEACE” WHEN LIFE APPEARS?
It may change.
It may remain exactly the same.
A possibility might even appear:
HANANE CAN TURN TOWARD HER LIFE EVEN WHILE “KEEPING THE PEACE” REMAINS PRESENT.
We do not need to eliminate one experience in order for another possibility to emerge.
WE RETURN TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”
Before finishing, we deliberately return to our starting point.
At the beginning, we introduced a representative for:
“KEEPING THE PEACE.”
Now we observe it again.
Is it in the same place?
Does it maintain the same orientation?
Is it at the same distance from the different ages?
Does any age now relate to it differently?
What has happened with CONFLICT?
With MY VOICE?
With OTHERS?
With ME?
With MY BOUNDARY?
With THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION?
With SAFETY, if it was introduced?
With LIFE?
We do not need to make:
“KEEPING THE PEACE” DISAPPEAR.
Because keeping the peace can remain a valuable capacity.
The question is whether it needs to continue occupying:
THE SAME PLACE.
Can Hanane move even while “KEEPING THE PEACE” remains present?
Can MY VOICE be present at the same time?
Can ME appear alongside OTHERS?
Can a boundary exist without the entire configuration having to reorganize immediately?
We do not know the answer.
We observe.
A NEW EXPERIENCE
Only if the process genuinely leads there can phrases such as these be tested:
“I CAN SEE YOU WITHOUT STOPPING SEEING MYSELF.”
“I CAN LISTEN TO YOU WITHOUT STOPPING LISTENING TO MYSELF.”
“I CAN TAKE YOU INTO CONSIDERATION WITHOUT STOPPING TAKING MYSELF INTO CONSIDERATION.”
“I CAN EXPRESS MYSELF AND OBSERVE WHAT HAPPENS.”
“I CAN SET A BOUNDARY AND OBSERVE WHAT HAPPENS.”
“I CAN LISTEN TO YOUR REACTION WITHOUT AUTOMATICALLY ABANDONING MY OWN EXPERIENCE.”
Or perhaps:
“I CAN WANT THERE TO BE PEACE WITHOUT NEEDING TO BE THE ONE WHO KEEPS IT.”
But these phrases:
ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVES.
ARE NOT POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.
ARE NOT TRUTHS HANANE HAS TO ACCEPT.
They are possible intervention movements.
They are tested only if they make sense after what has been observed.
And then we look again.
What happens in that age?
What happens in the others?
And:
WHAT HAPPENS NOW TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
Perhaps it changes.
Perhaps it does not.
We do not need a correct final phrase.
THE MOVEMENT OF PC-32-B-En
WE BEGIN
with some relevant ages:
GIRL · ADOLESCENT · ADULT WOMAN
↓
WE OBSERVE
POSITION · ORIENTATION · GAZE · SENSATION · EMOTION · TENSION · MOVEMENT · WORD · SILENCE
↓
WE LISTEN
without interpreting in advance
↓
WE INTRODUCE THE VISIBLE EXPERIENCE
representative of “KEEPING THE PEACE”
↓
WE OBSERVE
which ages react and how the configuration changes
↓
WE KEEP “KEEPING THE PEACE” AS THE THREAD OF THE EXPLORATION
↓
WE MAKE A MOVEMENT
we change a position · a distance · remove or reintroduce a representative · allow a spontaneous movement
↓
WE OBSERVE AGAIN
↓
WE INTRODUCE SOMETHING ELSE ONLY IF THE PHENOMENON JUSTIFIES IT
CONFLICT · “I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS” · PLEASING OTHERS · SAFETY · MY VOICE · STAYING QUIET · SPEAKING · OTHERS · ME · MY RESPONSIBILITY · THE OTHER PERSON’S REACTION · MY BOUNDARY · YES · NO · EXPRESSING MYSELF · LIFE
↓
WITH EACH NEW REPRESENTATIVE, WE OBSERVE
what changes in the different ages
and:
WHAT HAPPENS NOW TO “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
↓
WE ALLOW ENCOUNTERS BETWEEN AGES
only when the configuration makes them relevant
↓
IF THERE IS A REASON
we may later introduce the AE-7 formulation:
representative of “TO BE SAFE, I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
↓
WE OBSERVE
without asking it to confirm our map
↓
WE RETURN TO THE STARTING POINT
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
↓
WE COMPARE
WHAT HAS CHANGED?
WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED?
WHAT NEW INFORMATION HAS APPEARED?
↓
THE PHENOMENON GUIDES THE NEXT STEP.
PC-32-B-En DOES NOT SEEK THE ORIGIN
This point deserves to be especially clear.
We know that Hanane describes an unpredictable environment.
We know that from a very young age she felt she had to keep the peace.
We know that she learned to stay quiet, be careful, hold back what she felt, avoid conflict, and protect.
But if the GIRL reacts strongly to:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
we do not conclude:
“THAT IS WHERE IT ORIGINATED.”
If the ADOLESCENT reacts to:
CONFLICT
we do not conclude:
“THAT IS WHERE IT BECAME ESTABLISHED.”
If the ADULT WOMAN appears particularly connected to:
“I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS”
we do not conclude that this formulation explains her entire biography.
Personal Constellations allow us to observe:
WHICH AGES, VOICES, OR LIFE STAGES PARTICIPATE IN THE CURRENT EXPERIENCE.
We may also have real historical information.
But:
PARTICIPATING IN AN EXPERIENCE DOES NOT PROVE THAT IT ORIGINATED THERE.
THREE PERSPECTIVES ON PC-32-En
PC-32-En — AE-7 MODEL
Question:
WHAT EMOTIONAL ARCHITECTURE IS ORGANIZING MY EXPERIENCE?
We begin with experiences and strategies such as:
KEEPING THE PEACE · STAYING QUIET · HOLDING BACK · AVOIDING CONFLICT · PLEASING OTHERS · ADAPTING
and through Reverse Engineering we ask:
WHAT FOR?
WHAT IS THIS STRATEGY TRYING TO AVOID, ACHIEVE, OR PROTECT?
WHAT WOULD HAVE TO BE TRUE FOR THIS STRATEGY TO MAKE SENSE?
This allows us to explore especially:
SAFETY
and provisionally formulate:
“TO BE SAFE, I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
But:
THE MAP DOES NOT DECIDE THE MEANING.
PC-32-A-En — FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS
Question:
WHAT APPEARS WHEN HANANE OBSERVES HERSELF IN RELATION TO HER SYSTEM?
We begin with:
HANANE · FATHER · MOTHER · representative of “KEEPING THE PEACE”
We are not trying to prove that her family produced:
PEOPLE-PLEASING
or:
“TO BE SAFE, I CAN’T UPSET OTHERS.”
We do not know who created the unpredictability.
We do not know who generated the conflicts.
We do not know whom she was trying to protect.
WE DO NOT INVENT THE MISSING STORY.
We place.
We observe.
We make a movement.
We observe again.
We add only what is necessary.
PC-32-B-En — PERSONAL CONSTELLATIONS
Question:
WHAT APPEARS WHEN I OBSERVE MY DIFFERENT AGES AND THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THEM?
And specifically in PC-32-En:
WHICH AGES, VOICES, OR LIFE STAGES PARTICIPATE IN THE EXPERIENCE OF “KEEPING THE PEACE”?
We do not assume that there is:
A GIRL WHO KEEPS WATCH
AN ADOLESCENT WHO WANTS TO REBEL
A YOUNG WOMAN WHO PLEASES OTHERS
or:
AN ADULT WOMAN WHO NEEDS TO RECLAIM HER VOICE.
We observe.
What may appear is:
SENSATION · EMOTION · MOVEMENT · WORD · SILENCE.
We do not establish the order in advance.
Nor do we need all of them to appear.
WE ALLOW THE PHENOMENON TO EXPRESS ITSELF AS IT APPEARS.
The aim is not to eliminate:
EMPATHY · CONSIDERATION · SENSITIVITY · DIPLOMACY · THE ABILITY TO LISTEN · THE DESIRE FOR PEACE.
It is to recover:
THE CAPACITY TO CHOOSE.
So that:
“KEEPING THE PEACE”
can be a possibility without always having to become an obligation.
So that:
SEEING THE OTHER PERSON
does not have to mean:
STOPPING SEEING MYSELF.
So that:
LISTENING TO THE OTHER PERSON
can coexist with:
LISTENING TO MYSELF.
So that:
SAYING “NO”
can be a possibility without automatically turning it into rejection, danger, or lack of consideration.
And so that another person’s reaction can be present without automatically determining Hanane’s entire response.
Perhaps the movement may come closer to:
“I CAN SEE YOU WITHOUT STOPPING SEEING MYSELF.”
“I CAN TAKE YOU INTO CONSIDERATION WITHOUT STOPPING TAKING MYSELF INTO CONSIDERATION.”
“I CAN WANT THERE TO BE PEACE WITHOUT NEEDING TO BE THE ONE WHO KEEPS IT.”
But we do not need to decide that before we begin.
Because in Personal Constellations too: